When we began I understood that he was different, our relationship would allow me to grow making me understand life much more, vivid.
A moment in time when I realized the colors were changing. My blues becoming purple with sunrise, my grays growing vibrant rays of pink.
My heart is open to gentility of a beautifully human being
I have opened.
A blooming flower, trusting suns warmth, embracing truth, a form greater than I, yet is significant to my own significance.
Bleeding out scars left by pain; regenerating security where abandonment tattooed its loathing
I have opened.
Subtle sounds of sweet blaq essence build solid structures where dysfunction had demolished health.
Tangible tastes of tantalizing touch has twirled my toughness, turned me into tender tones turning me on and I have opened.
Impassioned emphasis on impact involves endearment and embrace enfolding limbs enamored with intricate elation.
I have softened
To the touch of closeness, soothed into serenity. Someday... someday I will smile to his strong symbol of boldness black beauty as armor and protection open.
Open to his intellect and defiant affection, I will be the willow weeping majestically as God made me.
Open Open to know Happiness again, To know fulfillment and peace in a way that is joined anew. Open to what life has next to offer instead of questioning what I have next to endure. I am willing to be open.
And here with me is he and we are Open.
©copyright 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I'm in Love....
After a long day of texting back and forth, my day ended with King (that's what I call him) calling me somewhat distraught because of my slow response to his attempts at communication. I admit that I was inconsiderate and that I could have been more considerate and understanding because I don't appreciate being left hanging when I have someone that is important to speak to in my life. However, this was a day that we had a short conversation AND he spent a large deal of it, explaining to me how he felt, though I admitted that I understood, I was at fault and I am sorry.
In retrospect, my King has told me that he can push an issue to make sure that he is understood, and that is exactly what happened. Our 20 minute phone conversation was 10 minutes of him making sure that I understood that he felt unappreciated and undervalued because I did not respond to him. He did tell me that this is a flaw, and now I know first hand that he sure can push an issue. Though, he is still not as bad as I have experienced. Though, he over reacted and I told him that he is going to get that under control.
I had to express this somehow. I am totally unbelievably, stupidly in love with this man. Stupidly!! That conversation was unbelievable, except when I thought about how pressing that shit was, and then it dawned on me, he was pressing an issue that was important to him, and he needed me to understand that I was important and acted as though he was not important.
I completely disregarded my King's feelings. I behaved insensitively. However, in his expression of my actions as pressing as he did, I did not realize until later that he was pressing the issue. So, as horribly annoyed as I am by the fact that our conversation was cut short and he spent the majority of it telling me that I was not considerate of how he felt, he expressed in his own flawed manner that he felt taken for granted. A position that I have been in many many many times. I have a man that has allowed me to nurture a rose, beautiful, soft, petals of velvet, color vibrant, touch sweet and vulnerable. I will cherish that forever.
In retrospect, my King has told me that he can push an issue to make sure that he is understood, and that is exactly what happened. Our 20 minute phone conversation was 10 minutes of him making sure that I understood that he felt unappreciated and undervalued because I did not respond to him. He did tell me that this is a flaw, and now I know first hand that he sure can push an issue. Though, he is still not as bad as I have experienced. Though, he over reacted and I told him that he is going to get that under control.
I had to express this somehow. I am totally unbelievably, stupidly in love with this man. Stupidly!! That conversation was unbelievable, except when I thought about how pressing that shit was, and then it dawned on me, he was pressing an issue that was important to him, and he needed me to understand that I was important and acted as though he was not important.
I completely disregarded my King's feelings. I behaved insensitively. However, in his expression of my actions as pressing as he did, I did not realize until later that he was pressing the issue. So, as horribly annoyed as I am by the fact that our conversation was cut short and he spent the majority of it telling me that I was not considerate of how he felt, he expressed in his own flawed manner that he felt taken for granted. A position that I have been in many many many times. I have a man that has allowed me to nurture a rose, beautiful, soft, petals of velvet, color vibrant, touch sweet and vulnerable. I will cherish that forever.
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